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| hola!
hmmmm so where do i begin? i really don't kno, it's only been since forever that i've even visited my xanga. lol.
well i guess i can start off with the fact that Drew Lucas and i are not together any longer. i broke with him on Septemeber 6, 2008. a month and two days befor our three year anniversary. how fun. not.
that was one of the hardest times ever in my life. i quit eating, and i never slept. i worked my bones off and felt like i was suffocating at all times. and before i knew it he was with the ex from before me and my world begin to only spiral down faster, which i didnt kno was possibly. my heart i still don't think is full yet, so many peices shattered to the ground between the month of Drew and my new boyfriend, Timmy. haha, yes everyone was a bit taken back when i got together with him so fast. October 19/20, 2008. he's pretty awesome, i don't kno what would've happened to me if i hadn't met him. btw, i met him at a party and he was the biggest sweetheart. and still is. that's why i keep him. we're so alike sometimes all i can do is laugh. but we've got our crazy differences too. for instance, i never thought i'd date a republican, lol. but he's absolutely great. i'm jus so afraid to let someone in ever again. sometimes i feel i'm finally letting him kno about me, really kno, and right when i feel that way i'm ready to change the subject and get light and silly again. why get that hurt again?
on a new subject i'm out of high school. shhh, don't tell anyone but i miss school work, a lot.
the plan was for CCAC in the beginning of fall o8, and then january of o9, but money and plans change.
hopefully hopefully fall o9 will work out for me. other than that i spend most of my time at the good ole Walgreens, as your friendly Beauty Advisor. i'm trying to be Senior Beauty Advisor, will see how that works out....
'-> hahahahahhahaha.
so besides Timmy and work i don't do too much.
i got my girls that i try and see on the regular. Jess, Carli, && Mandy. i love this girls with everything i got. i kno i'm not always the first to show it but i do. they're amazing and we have only the best of times together, sober or not. i love them.
well there's probably a lot more but i have work in the monring.
peace out my loves. <3333
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| whatever tomorrow brings
i'll be there,
with open arms
&& open eyes
it hurts like hell not to say "i love you" to you now. it hurts to kno you left and are about to drive and i cant say those words to you. you must kno i do love you. but with everything thats gone on, maybe you'll change. i don't kno. i've talked to people who've known you forever and they have their doubts you will. i worry more now than ever you'll get hurt and my only words before you left were "bye" or "toodles". it's killing me on the inside. but i have lost trust in somebody i never thought i'd lose trust in. no, maybe you didn't do anything behind my back but a lot of your promises are never held true. i kno when you say those three words, everytime you're searching for my response back. and i stumble out of i guess habbit, but i can no long do that. here's your last chance. welcome to life being a bitch, i guess. if we are to part, i hope we can still stay friends, because there's no way me and your family wouldn't ever lose contact, and i dont want too much tension or awkwardness. but my anger in your actions was only growing, and i think this is one huge wake-up call. and i hope you respond.
ann.
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| i just gave myself the shivers
&& that's what you get when you
[think about her]
aloha all.
so since my last update:
-x- i never got my test done
-x- i got my hair cut & dyed
-x- i've been to two hospitals in the same day
('->not for me)
-x- i've decided my life with or without being sick
oh wowz. i kno.
 
ok, so number one.
the day before the colonoscopy
during my wonderful preparation
they doctors office called &&
CANCLED
because of the water-main brake
outside of mercy hospital
i now have to wait until
MAY 29th
but you kno what?
i'm still going to the KW,
KENNYWOOD
haha. deal wif it.
 
numba dos
sunday night Father Bob
the PuNk Priest
came ot my church
he was cool, and
Nat & Chelle were there
so we hung out during, & after
eating JESUS PiZZA
haha. && then for some reason
decided to got to their house
and ChelleBoo did my hair
i love it.
black on the bottom
red on top
&& blonde highlights
thanx again chica
onto numba three, dawg
oh my. so hectic you could die
well most of you kno lil amya
my girl fo sho
well i had to babysit her
yesterday, early afternoon
well later in the night she got really sick
and couldn't go number two
and then she couldn't move
plus she was diagnosed with ITP
at a year & half
(it's a immune disorder,
basically the body attacks its own
blood cells, no good)
&& some of the skin symptoms of that
were showing up.
so we were gonna take her to Childrens
drew was carrying her, and on the way
to the car he tripped and fell, dropping her
he took the blunt of it all
hurt his ankle pretty bad
all she got was a lil cut on her elbow
so then we had to wait for jason
and once he got there
jason, missie, drew
me, amya, & sofia
all went into the car, ahah
dropped me and drew off at presby
and then went to childrens with amya
i stayed with drew, it was jus a bad sprain
and then i went to childrens afterwards for amya
and was there till 2 in the am
she's like 4-6 months backed up
oh my boo, i felt soo bad
boy what a night
 
oh yes. and i've decied
to basically give a big ole
middle finger to my illness
cuz im sooo tired of my life
not being there. and this summer
is my summer to forget this stress
so get a grip on that body
ARG!
 
so what else is new?
ann feels like crap, not new news
i jus feel like i'm watching life move
real fast in front of my eyes
and these years im supposed to be
stupid && have fun, im not
i feel like i have no friends
i kno i do, i guess its jus because
we never chill anymore
&& it hurts like hell.
 
i feel like im watching everyone have fun
and im off to the side, like,
"oh ann, i remember her,
did she like fall of the face of the earth
or something?"
&& i'm not even speaking just
about me being sick
i jus never ever seem to have friends around
i kno its all my fault
ugh... i dont want to feel this no more.
 
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| HELLO
=]
ann is deciding
to procrastinate
and not do her research paper
that was due, Jan 5?
haha
my home tutor came yesterday
her name is Andrea
&& she's real nice and stuff
i'm out for at least the rest of the nine weeks
blah...
maybe they'll figure this garbage out
as of right now
i get bored real easily, but then i got
homework now to do, ick.. lol
but instead of that
i make icons
love love love
hahah
peace
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